Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Ahí dándolo todo.

Ya que mi día de hoy ha sido de cabreo continuo, salvo en la comida, la cena, y el episodio de Studio 60, contaré una historia diferente.

Cuando yo era poli allá a finales de los 80 en Andalucía, patrullaba las calles ladrando a los conductores.
Una vez detuve a una rubia y a un abogado que alegaban ir al hospital. Tras este suceso, continué recorriendo la costa y me paré en un bar a tomar una couk (estaba de servicio). Allí conocí a Bob, un rusko feliz que tocaba la armónica en un conjunto de blues, que me confesó que él también solía ladrar a los conductores. Mientras descansaba recibí una llamada anónima sobre una trifulca doméstica, así que decidí acudir, llevando conmigo a Bob, pues nuestra conversación aún no había terminado.
Cuando llegué al lugar de los hechos me encontré con una situación familiar extraña. Un personaje parecido a Willy de la Abeja Maya meets Oliver Aton se encontraba atado a una verja que rodeaba un lodazal, mientras se rebozaba en el barro. Al parecer había ocurrido el altercado después de que Kevin (así se llamaba, era de Perú) hubiese tirado toda su ropa en el vestidor de su hermana. Esta, tras perder los papeles, decidió que si Kevin quería vivir como un puerco, lo haría con todas sus consecuencias.
Bob y yo aprendimos mucho de esta situación. Kevin no.
Pero bueno, lo importante es que Bob y yo fundamos nuestro propio club de Jam Sessions.

Buenas noches!
Esta es una gran canción, la podéis leer, aunque no cabe entera, mañana la sigo!

Father says it, mother says it
Sister says it, brother says it
Uncle says it, Auntie says it
Everyone at the party says
Babe, I'm on fire
The horse says it, the pig says it
The judge in his wig says it
The fox and the rabbit
And the nun in her habit says
Babe, I'm on fire
My mate Bill Gates says it
The President of the United States says it
The slacker and the worker
The girl in her burqa says
Babe, I'm on fire
The general with his tank says it
The man at the bank says it
The soldier with his rocket
And the mouse in my pocket says
Babe, I'm on fire
The drug-addled wreck
With a needle in his neck says it
The drunk says it, punk says it
The brave Buddhist monk says
Babe, I'm on fire
Hit me up, baby, and knock me down
Drop what you're doing and come around
We can hold hands till the sun goes down
CAUSE I KNOW
THAT YOU
AND I
CAN BE
TOGETHER
Cause I love you
The blind referee says it
The unlucky amputee says it
The giant killer bee
Landing on my knee says
Babe, I'm on fire
The cop with his breathalyser
The paddy with his fertiliser
The man in the basement
That's getting a taste for it says
Babe, I'm on fire
The fucked-up Rastafarian says it
The dribbling libertarian says it
The sweet little Goth
With the ears of cloth says
Babe, I'm on fire
The cross-over country singer says it
The hump-backed bell ringer says it
The swinger, the flinger
The outraged right-winger says
Babe, I'm on fire
The man going hiking says it
The misunderstood Viking says it
The man at the rodeo
And the lonely old Eskimo says
Babe, I'm on fire
The mild little Christian says it
The wild Sonny Liston says it
The pimp and the gimp
And the guy with the limp says
Babe, I'm on fire
The blind piano tuner says it
The Las Vegas crooner says it
The hooligan mooner
Holding a schooner says
Babe, I'm on fire
The Chinese contortionist says it
The backyard abortionist says it
The poor Pakistani
With his lamb Bhirriani says
Babe, I'm on fire
The hopeless defendant says it
The toilet attendant says it
The pornographer, the stenographer
The fashion photographer says
Babe, I'm on fire
The college professor says it
The vicious cross-dresser says it
Grandma and Grandpa
In the back of the car says
Babe, I'm on fire
The hack at the doorstep says it
The midwife with her forceps says it
The demented young lady
Who is roasting her baby
On the fire
Babe, I'm on fire
The athlete with his hernia says it
Picasso with his Guernica says it
My wife with her furniture
Everybody!
Babe, I'm on fire
The laughing hyena says it
The homesick polish cleaner says it
The man from the Klan
With a torch in his hand says
Babe, I'm on fire
The Chinese herbologist says it
The Christian apologist says it
The dog and the frog
Sitting on a log says
Babe, I'm on fire
The foxhunting toff says it
The horrible moth says it
The doomed homosexual
With the persistent cough says
Babe, I'm on fire
The Papist with his soul says it
The rapist on a roll says it
Jack says it, Jill says it
As they roll down the hill
Babe, I'm on fire
The clever circus flea says it
The sailor on the sea says it
The man from the Daily Mail
With his dead refugee says
Babe, I'm on fire
The hymen-busting Zulu says it
The proud kangaroo says it
The koala, the echidna
And the platypus too says
Babe, I'm on fire

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